I Like People.org http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog Abandon Stress, Get More Time With Your Friends And Family, And See Your Self-Confidence Soar Fri, 08 Feb 2008 10:16:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 en ©Sten M. Andersen stenmorten@gmail.com (Sten M. Andersen) stenmorten@gmail.com(Sten M. Andersen) 1440 self confidence, life coaching, life design, clarity, dream life Abandon Stress, Get More Time With Your Friends And Family, And See Your Self-Confidence Soar Sten M. Andersen Sten M. Andersen stenmorten@gmail.com No no http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/wp-content/plugins/podpress/images/powered_by_podpress.jpg I Like People.org http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog 144 144 60.211.1 Win One Year of Free Focus and Concentration Training http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ILikePeople/~3/231511785/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/02/08/win-one-year-of-free-focus-and-concentration-training/#comments Fri, 08 Feb 2008 10:16:26 +0000 admin http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/02/08/win-one-year-of-free-focus-and-concentration-training/ I’m about to launch my new membership training site, where you’ll learn to break that nasty cycle of procrastination and distraction… I’ll take you by the hand and lead you through the obstacles, so that you will stay the course… and reap the rewards. Entering is quick, fun and easy… and free, at http://www.memorylightswitch.com/ Just answer one [...] I’m about to launch my new membership training site, where you’ll learn to break that nasty cycle of procrastination and distraction… I’ll take you by the hand and lead you through the obstacles, so that you will stay the course… and reap the rewards.

Entering is quick, fun and easy… and free, at http://www.memorylightswitch.com/

Just answer one question, and you might be one of the lucky (and deserving!) five who’ll get the whole year of training for free.

The contest ends February 20th.


]]> http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/02/08/win-one-year-of-free-focus-and-concentration-training/feed/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/02/08/win-one-year-of-free-focus-and-concentration-training/ How on Earth did I get used to the taste of beer? (What’s Wrong With The Good Life - Part 3) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ILikePeople/~3/225866927/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/30/how-on-earth-did-i-get-used-to-the-taste-of-beer-whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-3/#comments Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:05:38 +0000 admin http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/30/how-on-earth-did-i-get-used-to-the-taste-of-beer-whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-3/ Can you remember the first time you had a sip of beer? Not very nice. Your first cigarette? Your first glass of whiskey? Cognac? All pretty bad experiences, I bet. But today… You’re hooked on some of these. You like them. No, you love them. They give you a great rush and they relax you, [...] Can you remember the first time you had a sip of beer? Not very nice. Your first cigarette? Your first glass of whiskey? Cognac? All pretty bad experiences, I bet. But today… You’re hooked on some of these. You like them. No, you love them. They give you a great rush and they relax you, and you don’t want to live without them.

You know they are bad for you, of course (and maybe some more than others).

So why is your brain telling you not to quit? (At least the emotional part of it?) Why does it feel so good?

I’m not going to tell you that I understand addiction. Nobody really does. But we have some good theories. And here is one.

Your brain has a reward system that releases dopamine (a neurotransmitter) when you do something that is good for you (see http://www.addictionscience.net/ASNreport01.htm for a more scientific treatise on this).

Drugs, like alcohol and tobacco, short-circuit the reward system of the brain. They directly push the buttons of the reward system, and so your brain gets a rush of dopamine. And you take a delight in doing whatever it was you were doing at the time you got rewarded — like sipping merlot or smoking a cigarette.

What does this mean for you?

For one thing, it means that if you do want to quit smoking, for example, that you accept and acknowledge that some parts of you are actually hard wired to sabotage your efforts. Your brain obviously wants you to do what it thinks is best for you — and that is to smoke. Now you’re a thinking, reflecting human being and you know it’s not good for you. But sorry, the reward system was there first. It develop long before the logical reasoning of your frontal lobes, which in evolutionary light can be seen as addendums to your brain. The reward system is deeper, lower down, and has a lot of say. It is there to keep you alive and kicking.

So you have to outsmart it.

How?

Next blog post, I’ll tell you how I did it.

Until then, let me know your thoughts, your feelings and your experiences. Use the comments box! I’m listening.


]]> http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/30/how-on-earth-did-i-get-used-to-the-taste-of-beer-whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-3/feed/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/30/how-on-earth-did-i-get-used-to-the-taste-of-beer-whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-3/ How to Discover Your True Values in 10 Minutes or Less http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ILikePeople/~3/222234805/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/24/how-to-discover-your-true-values-in-10-minutes-or-less/#comments Thu, 24 Jan 2008 11:27:26 +0000 admin http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/24/how-to-discover-your-true-values-in-10-minutes-or-less/ Psychological research has shown that levels of self-concordance is a strong predictor of well-being. What does that mean? It means that if you live according to your true values, you are more likely to be happy, to feel fulfilled, and to not suffer from depression and anxiety. By listing things you are grateful for in your life [...] Psychological research has shown that levels of self-concordance is a strong predictor of well-being.

What does that mean? It means that if you live according to your true values, you are more likely to be happy, to feel fulfilled, and to not suffer from depression and anxiety.

By listing things you are grateful for in your life today, you have already discovered a lot about what your values are, and hence, what your dream life looks like.

I have another method for you, to go deeper and discover more. What is that you really want with your life? What are your true, deep values?

What do you have to do to live a life where you feel well?

1. Download the Method Description: The Why-Until Method Report (Adobe Acrobat / pdf file)
(or view online here)

2. Download the Worksheet: The Why-Until Method Worksheet (Excel / xls file)
(or view online her)

Have fun! And let me know what you discover in the comments box!

Love,
Sten


]]> http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/24/how-to-discover-your-true-values-in-10-minutes-or-less/feed/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/24/how-to-discover-your-true-values-in-10-minutes-or-less/ McDiabetes (What’s wrong with the good life - Part 2) http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ILikePeople/~3/220236098/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/21/mcdiabetes-whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-2/#comments Mon, 21 Jan 2008 07:30:03 +0000 admin http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/21/mcdiabetes-whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-2/ (If you haven’t already read Part 1, do so now before going on.) There’s a common thread between most, if not all of the activities of “the good life.” Can you see it? They’re all about consumption. Maybe except golf (but maybe not…. think about it…) They’re about consuming, and they all give instant but short-lived releases of dopamine [...] (If you haven’t already read Part 1, do so now before going on.)

There’s a common thread between most, if not all of the activities of “the good life.”

Can you see it?

They’re all about consumption. Maybe except golf (but maybe not…. think about it…)

They’re about consuming, and they all give instant but short-lived releases of dopamine in your brain. This gives a rush, a feeling of pleasure. To some degree, we all hunt this pleasure throughout our lives.

It’s natural to hunt the rush. Why? Simply put, we’re wired that way. The dopamine system of the brain is a reward system, it gives us that nice little rush when we do something that is good for survival.

Huh?

Let me qualify that. Your brain gives you the rush when you do something that would seemingly be good for survival, up until modern times.

Stop!

I’ll explain.

Why are all things that taste good bad for you?

Because we’ve taken the goodness out of the healthy things, and now just eat the goodness, and now devour the goodness and leave out the health.

Don’t forget… Sugar and its storage form in the body — fat — is energy. It’s what makes you tick. So sweet things — like fruits (!) — which also have vitamins and fiber — are good for you. Proteins are the building blocks of the body, and you get those from meat, and meat contains fat.

Fiber, vitamins, building blocks and energy. That’s what healthy food gives you. And it tastes good because it is healthy.

Unluckily for us, evolution would have it that we could taste the sugars and the fats, not the vitamins, fibers and proteins.

When somebody separated the energy sources (sugar and fat) from the rest of the food, and discovered that it sold really well… they struck gold.

Sugar became inexpensive because so much was produced. And every ready-made meal sold even better if sugar was added (because sugar also works as a flavor-intensifier, brining out more of the flavors that are already in the food).

Get this: Sugar is now so cheap that it is put in excessive amounts in animal food to bulk it up, and even cats and dogs are developing diabetes type 2 these days.

What happens when you put too much sugar in liquid? It becomes sticky, right?

What do you think happens when you have so much sugar in your blood that there’s not enough insulin to take it around to the cells to use as energy?

That’s right. It forms lumps and clog up your arteries.

Think about what this means: The energy our brain is hard wired to reward us for consuming, is now killing us because of excessive consumption.

What do you think about that? Use the Comments box and let me know what you feel. I’m listening.

Part 3 of this series will come in a few days. Thanks for reading!


]]> http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/21/mcdiabetes-whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-2/feed/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/21/mcdiabetes-whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-2/ The Google Habit Hack http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ILikePeople/~3/218208929/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/17/the-google-habit-hack/#comments Thu, 17 Jan 2008 12:08:05 +0000 admin http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/17/the-google-habit-hack/ (if you can’t see the video in this window, click here: The Google Habit Hack) Before I jump into this neat, totally unknown way of using Google, I’d like you to think about something for two seconds.Where you are in your life today, is a result of the things you’ve done in your past. Right?Sure, [...] (if you can’t see the video in this window, click here: The Google Habit Hack)

Before I jump into this neat, totally unknown way of using Google, I’d like you to think about something for two seconds.Where you are in your life today, is a result of the things you’ve done in your past. Right?Sure, you’ve had a bit of luck, or a bit of misfortune, at there was nothing you could do about those things, but for the most part, *what you have done, so far, has led you where you are right now*.

For example,if you chose to go to college and worked hard and did good, there’s a better chance that you have a good job right now. Right? This is basic.

If you brush your teeth everyday, you probably have nicer teeth than if you never brush them …

So, because of what you’ve done in your past, you are where you are in your life today. Nice teeth or brown, disgusting teeth, ok?

But here’s the kicker: your actions, what you do every day, is largely determined by your habits, right?

You have a habit of brushing your teeth, so you have nice teeth and a healthy gum, and that’s good. But you have a habit of not looking both ways before you cross the road, and so tomorrow you will get hit by a car and die.

So do you agree with me that habits are extremely important in determining what happens in your life, and where you go from here?

Your habits have gotten you where you are today, and they will most likely keep you there.

So what if you would like to change something in your life?

You need new habits!

We all have some good habits and some bad habits, right? And we’d like to get some more good ones, and maybe loose some bad ones.

So what I’ve done today, is I’ve created this video for you where I show you a really cool way of letting Google help you create and maintain new, helpful habits.

Watch this, this is cool.

Now, you do need to figure out for yourself what new habit exactly you want. If you read my blog in the next few weeks, we’ll deal with that thoroughly, but right now, let’s just dive into something called Google Calendar.

So you’ve decided on a new habit you want — let’s say it’s that you want to start meditating every day.

There’s a problem with that.

Most of us are pretty good at deciding upon doing something, but after a few days, we just forget, and it doesn’t happen anymore. That’s were Google Calendar really comes to the rescue, and it does so for free.

Watch the video now.

Talk to me! What new habits will you let Google help you create?


]]> http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/17/the-google-habit-hack/feed/ 00:01:01 (if you can't see the video in this window, click here: The Google Habit Hack) Before I jump into this neat, totally unknown way of ... (if you can't see the video in this window, click here: The Google Habit Hack) Before I jump into this neat, totally unknown way of using Google, I'd like you to think about something for two seconds.Where you are in your life today, is a result of the things you've done in your past. Right?Sure, you've had a bit of luck, or a bit of misfortune, at there was nothing you could do about those things, but for the most part, *what you have done, so far, has led you where you are right now*. For example,if you chose to go to college and worked hard and did good, there's a better chance that you have a good job right now. Right? This is basic. If you brush your teeth everyday, you probably have nicer teeth than if you never brush them ... So, because of what you've done in your past, you are where you are in your life today. Nice teeth or brown, disgusting teeth, ok? But here's the kicker: your actions, what you do every day, is largely determined by your habits, right? You have a habit of brushing your teeth, so you have nice teeth and a healthy gum, and that's good. But you have a habit of not looking both ways before you cross the road, and so tomorrow you will get hit by a car and die. So do you agree with me that habits are extremely important in determining what happens in your life, and where you go from here? Your habits have gotten you where you are today, and they will most likely keep you there. So what if you would like to change something in your life? You need new habits! We all have some good habits and some bad habits, right? And we'd like to get some more good ones, and maybe loose some bad ones. So what I've done today, is I've created this video for you where I show you a really cool way of letting Google help you create and maintain new, helpful habits. Watch this, this is cool. Now, you do need to figure out for yourself what new habit exactly you want. If you read my blog in the next few weeks, we'll deal with that thoroughly, but right now, let's just dive into something called Google Calendar. So you've decided on a new habit you want -- let's say it's that you want to start meditating every day. There's a problem with that. Most of us are pretty good at deciding upon doing something, but after a few days, we just forget, and it doesn't happen anymore. That's were Google Calendar really comes to the rescue, and it does so for free. Watch the video now. Talk to me! What new habits will you let Google help you create? Tools Sten M. Andersen no No http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/17/the-google-habit-hack/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwVT1N8ECaY What’s Wrong With The Good Life - Part 1 http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ILikePeople/~3/216328149/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/14/whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-1/#comments Mon, 14 Jan 2008 09:23:45 +0000 admin http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/14/whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-1/ Eat this: Fat, sugary foods that make your teeth water and give no resistance when you chew. Take this: Pleasure releasing, dopamine triggering substances that give instant satisfaction; nicotine, ethanol. Do this: Sweet, sweet lovin’. Bake in the sun, devouring a novel. No work. A lifelong holiday. Five years ago, if someone asked me what “the [...] Eat this: Fat, sugary foods that make your teeth water and give no resistance when you chew. Take this: Pleasure releasing, dopamine triggering substances that give instant satisfaction; nicotine, ethanol. Do this: Sweet, sweet lovin’. Bake in the sun, devouring a novel. No work. A lifelong holiday.

Five years ago, if someone asked me what “the good life” was, I would have mumbled something like that. Something about reading thick books in my sofa and gulping down merlot. I’d probably include a packet of Lucky Strikes every day and single malt whiskey in a jar. Then I’d added baking in the sun, preferably in Melbourne or some other relaxed city, consuming my thick book and smoking the Luckies. Then maybe strolling down to the video store, renting a dvd and watching it with my girlfriend in my arm, on our sofa. After the film, she and I could round off the perfect day. Then maybe another Lucky Strike.

Just writing about it makes me long for it. Long hot summer nights. Friends and laughter. No projects. No worries.

It could go on for weeks.

But could it be “the good life”?

Sure it sounds nice.

Maybe it could include golfing. I don’t golf, but I’ve tried pitch and put, and it was a lot of fun. Golfing seems nice — people do enjoy it a lot. Yes, the good life needs a bit of golfing.

Going for walks in the evening. Dining out. Cinemas, theaters. What a life! Massages, trips to Thailand, Spain and Italy.

I bet it would be quite relaxing.

But then what…

Could it go on forever?

Here’s what I think: After three months, I’d be bored to tears. After a year, I’d be fat, developing diabetes type 2, and have no energy left. After another year, I’d go swimming face down in the Andaman sea, and simply not bother to turn around when I went out of air.

Why?

What’s wrong with the picture?

What’s the problem here?

Is it just one, or are there several?

What do you think?

Use the Comment section and talk to me. Leave a reply. I’m listening.


]]> http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/14/whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-1/feed/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/14/whats-wrong-with-the-good-life-part-1/ Can you smile? http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ILikePeople/~3/214846988/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/11/6/#comments Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:07:40 +0000 admin http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/11/6/ Know this: In A Way, You’re Already There   Please, on a piece of paper, list twenty things you are grateful for in your life. The first point of this is to take your problem-oriented brain off of the problems for a while, to give it some “breathing space”. (To find out more about the problem-oriented brain, download and [...] Know this: In A Way, You’re Already There

 

Please, on a piece of paper, list twenty things you are grateful for in your life.

The first point of this is to take your problem-oriented brain off of the problems for a while, to give it some “breathing space”.

(To find out more about the problem-oriented brain, download and read this free report: The Problem Discovery Machine. (Adobe Acrobat file - pdf) [Or view it online here])

 

For me, the list includes


* my wife

* my son

* the fact that I still have my parents

* that they are of reasonably good health

* that my family and I have a roof over our head

* that we never go hungry

* we have plenty of access to fresh water

* I have the freedom to chose my occupation (within limits to be sure, but still!)

* that my doctor discovered my insulin resistance before it turned into full-blown diabetes

* that I know how to read and write

* that I can go for a walk in the forest nearby when I want,

* and so on and so on and so on….

 

If you live in a house or an apartment where you’ve been for a while, just take a look around you and look at all the things you have, many for which you might want to be grateful.

(If you look around you and you’re thinking “what a lot of shit” – please consider the possibility that you are so rich you can actually buy stuff you don’t really need, and be grateful for that ( – and then consider whether uncluttering your life would add value, rather than subtract from it).

Okay, now make your own list, if you haven’t already (come on, DO it! If it helps, print out this page and fill in the blanks.)

 

Twenty Things I Am Grateful For

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.


So, did you find out you are already so rich you have things you don’t need or even want? Did you treasure your ability to walk? To breathe without aid? Your closeness to nature – to the tranquil woods or a placid lake? Or to the city, the bustling life, the endless opportunities?

Did you remember to treasure the fact that you can smile?

Imagine a life without smiling.

If you own a piece of land, did you think to appreciate it?

A good chair?

A fond memory?

I believe every person I ever met or will meet has an interesting life story, if only that person could relate the ups and downs of their lives – and as a consequence, everyone would have something to be grateful for.

We have so many things to be grateful for, yet many of us do not include gratefulness in our days.

Being grateful is one of the keys.

And when you’re grateful and count your blessings, as they say (we counted to twenty…)

… can you see the parts you would like to keep in your life? The ones that are already with you, and that you would want to have in your dream life?

That is the second point of doing this little exercise.

If, in your dream life you want more money, have you been grateful for the money you have now, however little? If you want more freedom, have you been grateful for the freedom you’re enjoying right now? (Like the freedom to read this blog?)

The things we focus on grow, and counting your blessings is a beautiful way of focusing on the things you want in your life.

Here’s the kicker:

I’m betting that most of the things (probably all of them) that you listed that you were grateful for, you would want to keep in your dream life also.

See how you’re already living somewhat in that dream life?

So many pieces of the puzzle are actually in place. All you need is a bit more of something, and a bit less of other things.

In many ways, you are already there.

Now is the time to be grateful for that.


]]> http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/11/6/feed/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/11/6/ How to get what you want http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ILikePeople/~3/213816990/ http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/09/how-to-get-what-you-want/#comments Wed, 09 Jan 2008 14:27:06 +0000 admin http://www.ilikepeople.org/blog/2008/01/09/how-to-get-what-you-want/ The BIG Problem A word of caution: Don’t read this if you are “comfortable” in your life and you just want it to stay that way. However, if you know there are better things in store for you than the life you’re living right now, read on… Riddle me this: What is your dream life? I mean, if [...] The BIG Problem

A word of caution: Don’t read this if you are “comfortable” in your life and you just want it to stay that way. However, if you know there are better things in store for you than the life you’re living right now, read on…

Riddle me this: What is your dream life?

I mean, if you knew you would succeed in whatever it was you chose to do… what would you do?

Do you even know what your “dream life” looks like?

If not,have you ever thought “is this as good as it gets?”

Do you wish there was something more? Maybe not a complete life change, but more like a makeover?
… A bit more money … a bit more time … a bit more energy?

Or would you like a drastic, life altering — extreme — makeover? Do you want $150,000 in your bank account? Freedom from a tedious job? To lose 80 lbs?

When I ask people what their biggest problem is — what they dream of, what would help them the most, do you know what the most common answers I get are?

People I’ve asked want to:

* define meaning in life

* set goals

* create focus

In short, there are three wants, and three “problems” here.

1. How do you actually find meaning in your life? What is it you want? How does that make life meaningful?

2. Just think about it. When you’ve answered question 1, you’ve also discovered what your values are and what you need to do. Now how do you break that down into manageable tasks? How do you actually get started?

3. After creating real, measurable goals in number 2, how do you stay on target? How do you stand up against problems? How do you not simply just lose interest, lose energy, and give up?

Listen: All three are good questions. And they do have answers.

And that’s why I’ve created this blog.

In the coming weeks and months, I’ll be sharing with you the tools and insights I’ve been using for the last four years to propel my life in the direction I’ve chosen.

Today I want to give you a gift, to really get you cracking straight away.

Here’s what this is all about…

You can’t focus before you have something to focus on, right?

And if you are going to find something worthwhile to focus on, you’d better know what your own values are, so you work in concert with them, right?

Here’s the scary part:

Too many people create their own businesses to get out of a job that sucks their time and energy away, only to discover that the new business consumes even more time and energy.

What they didn’t realize, was the value they initially had: freedom.

Okay? This goes for every kind of goal you set yourself. You need to know why you’re doing it. Indeed, you must know what your values are.

Are you with me?

Now here’s the next steps:

1. Download your first free report, The Problem Discovery Machine. I think you’ll love it. (Adobe Acrobat file - pdf) [Or view it online here]
2. Download your first free tool, Value Discovery (Excel file - xls) [Or view it online here]
3. Read the report
4. DO what the tool says. Don’t skip on this.

Pleasures await you.

Within the next few days, I will release another report and a tool that will take you even deeper, down into your true, deep values.

But do this one first to set the stage… Seriously, put some thought into this…

And then…

5. Come back here and tell me what you think!

Did you like the report? What did you get out of using the tool? What didn’t you like? What could be better?

Let’s have a conversation here. I’m listening.

Sincerely,
Sten